Keep Kirstjen Nielsen unemployed and eating …

Please enjoy my brand new never before seen essay thank you. Pre-order my book here if you like. One of the biggest regrets of my life is not pissing in Bill Kristol’s salmon. I was waiting on the disgraced neoconservative pundit and chief Iraq War cheerleader about ten years ago at a restaurant in Cambridge, and to my eternal dismay, some combination of professionalism and pusillanimity prevented me from appropriately seasoning his entree. A ramekin of blood on the side might have been the better option come to think of it. He always did seem really thirsty for the stuff.

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