I’ve been sleeping with a shovel under the bed

The day after that the police arrived

I’ve been sleeping with a shovel under the bed. It wasn’t my first choice. I rifled through the shed out back selecting potential weapons one by one like a montage in a shitty zombie movie: the metal rake the rusty garden shears the weed wacker. The lawnmower seemed impractical. An important consideration when deciding which weapon to go to sleep with i…